I Owe LA An Apology

From commercials, to television shows and movies...lately, I am constantly being reminded of Los Angeles. What has come as a HUGE surprise to me is that these reminders have been leaving me feeling quite melancholy and, something that I hate to ever feel, regretful.

If you were to ask most of my close friends and family, they would tell you that I hated Los Angeles. And, they have perfectly good reason to say that because that's exactly what I told them...every chance that I could get. I told them how miserable I was...how much I wanted to leave...how stupid I was for moving there. But as time drew closer for me to head back East, I began to realize that it wasn't really Los Angeles that I hated...it was the life that I had there that was the problem.

I had forgotten that I had this revelation until a couple days ago when it dawned on me that: I...miss...Los Angeles!

I spent four years in the City of Angels after moving there to be with my soon-to-be-ex-husband under the condition, and agreement, that we wouldn't be there for more than two years. Therein lies the problem! I moved there already ready to leave, so I never really gave it the chance that it deserved. And once my relationship/marriage started to go south, FUGETTABOUTIT! You couldn't have paid me a million bucks to say anything nice about that place. BUT, if I am honest, the truth of the matter was (and is) there were many wonderful things that I experienced in Los Angeles:

Sunny and mild weather almost every day of the year. Having a tan all year round. Driving down Pacific Coast Highway (PCH to the natives) with the wind whipping through my hair and not a care in the world other than chosing which restaurant at which to have brunch. Window shopping on Rodeo Drive. Watching the sunset from the Hollywood Hills. Chicken & waffles at Roscoes on Pico (cause the one in Hollywood is no bigger than my closet). Early afternoon beers & burgers on outdoor patios at the Hermosa Beach pier. Shopping at the Beverly Center or the Grove and running into people that you see each week on TV. Farmers markets...oh how I love them! Falling in love with watching baseball live at Dodgers Stadium (I'm all about the Dodger Dogs). Authentic Mexican food and "scratch" margaritas. Outdoor concert venues (for fans, imagine seeing Brian McKnight in concert under a star filled sky). "Girl's Night In" with cases of "Two Buck Chuck" ($1.99 Charles Shaw wine sold at Trader Joe's...don't knock it 'til you try it!). Being within short driving distance of the most magical place on earth...Disneyland. Burke Williams spas...even the water is yummy! People watching (or rather, "weirdo" watching) on Venice Beach. Weekend trips to Santa Barbara and San Diego. Martini's and tapas overlooking the Santa Monica pier. The Third Street Promenade...one the the biggest outdoor "shopping malls." The pulse of our communities...Inglewood, So. Central, Compton (they're not AS scary as some make them out to be...atleast not during the daytime...lol). The spirit of entertaining...everybody throws soirees, has get togethers and cookouts...life is one big party! The easy, laid back vibe of the entire city...where ponytails, sunglasses, tanks, capris and flip flops were acceptable attire for almost any occasion (aside from anything "industry" related).

I made a lot of great friends in LA. Growing up, many of my friends happened to be white...so I was used to hanging with people who didn't look like me. However, I never would have thought that I would ever chill as hard as I did with people from as many different cultures as I did when I was in LA...Vietnamese, Chinese, Mexican, Filipino, Guatemalan. I learned so much from each and every one of them. Unfortunately the reality is that some of them I will never see again, however a good number of them will be friends of mine for life.

I let so much of this "goodness" go on around me without taking the time to appreciate it all. I was so caught up in my personal nightmare that I sleepwalked my way through the whole experience of living in Los Angeles and gave it reviews that would make even Ebert & Roper wince!

What saddens me more is that even with all of the great things that I can now admit to, there were still things that I didn't experience during my four years on "the Left." I didn't go to the wine country. I never drove down to Mexico. I never went skiing in Big Bear (or tried skiing). I never went to a taping of any of my favorite TV shows...and I'm sure there's more, but if I force myself to think about them all it will make me even more depressed than I already am.

When I hopped in my car and started my drive back to the East Coast, I thought I would never look back. Never again look over my shoulder and see the Hollywood sign. Now, just shy of a year later, I can't wait to get back. Not to live...I don't know if I'm ready to do that again just yet...but to visit. Visit with a new outlook and appreciation. With a new spirit and a happier heart. To view the city with an unbiased eye.

Los Angeles didn't do anything wrong to me...someone IN Los Angeles did. Los Angeles was very good to me...gave me love...welcomed me with open arms and sent me back home with a lot of great memories. So, I must apologize.

I am sorry that I never gave it the fair chance that it deserved. I am sorry that I left without experiencing all it has to offer. I am sorry that I spent the majority of my time there too angry to stop and recognize its beauty.

I just hope that I can be forgiven and that I am still welcome...because I would love to give it another chance!