The Haps

"IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT YOU..."

Gotta. Love. Eric B. and Rakim!!!

I'm back folks...and hopefully I'll be back on a more regular schedule again. Next on my agenda, after I finish this post, is catching up on the lives of my favorite people listed to the right of screen...I haven't forgotten about a single person as you all have kept me in good company throughout my journey thus far.

So here's the haps of my life since the post before last...in no particular order:

1. I spoke with a dear friend of mine recently who, sadly, is also in the midst of a divorce. She and her husband have been married for a little over five years...maybe six. Let's call her HS (bka - "Haitian Sensation") They have a four year old son, which is one of a few factors that makes her situation more complex than mine. I found out she was getting a divorce about two months ago and, unfortunately, just got around to calling to check in on her. She is a rock...I must say...and her strength and courage is contagious. Although I love and appreciate the advice of my family and friends (present company included), it was comforting to talk to someone (especially a person that I love so dearly and know so well) who I feel knows the EXACT place in which I stand. We both are gonna make it through...and make it through wiser and stronger than ever before! I shared my blogging experience with her and have encouraged her to give it a whirl...so who knows...you may be hearing from her soon!

2. I saw "him." As you know from earlier posts, I have tried my best not to see my soon-to-be-ex, communicating via e-mail, text messages and voicemail (in extreme cases) only. Trying to have a conversation with him live and in living color would be a recipe for disaster. But I was leaving the grocery store near my old apartment and I saw him from over a block away. His back was to me, but he has a very distinctive walk and I would know it from a mile away. I recognized his get up...he had been out running. What wasn't recognizable, however, was the female he was walking and chatting with. I'm not gonna lie, it stung. But not in the "I want you back" kinda way, but rather the "are you serious???" kinda way. I said a quick prayer and asked God to let the feeling roll off my back just as easily as I rolled right past him. IF they were/are "together" - he's her problem now...God bless her. But...who knows? I don't know the real/true story...and don't really care to know. It did cause me to have a nightmare though *shiver*...but only one.

3. Perfect segue...I can offically file for my "limited divorce" (which is a legal separation in most other states other than cockamamy Maryland...yeah, I said "cockamamy"). As of about a week ago, I met the requirement of being a resident of Maryland for one year. The papers have been filled out and I'm just waiting for the issues surrounding my vehicle to be settled between the two of us. I'm hoping we can get that squared away in the next couple of days so I can be one more step closer to having my life back. Pray for me y'all!

4. Having learned of hap #1 (in addition to the others), it got me thinking: There is not a single person in my generation, that I know personally, in a marriage made up of "real love...ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love" (to quote Carrie Bradshaw). Does it exist? I mean, I hate to sound like a cynic...but does it? I'm talking about "my husband and I are best friends, get chills every time we look into each others eyes, would rather argue with one another than love anyone else, won't go to bed angry, giggle like school children, put God and the other person before themselves, can't wait to see your face and feel the peace of our home after work, you know what I need even before I know I need it, I want to have your baby because our love can produce nothing short of wonderful...I want to grow old with YOU by my side" kinda love. Pleeeease...someone...tell me that it exists. Because that's what I want...it's what I pray for...it's what I deserve. In the meantime, I'll love myself like that so that I can provide the example of how I need to be loved...then Mr. Right (whoever he might end up being) can just follow suit.

Well, that about sums it up. All of the above events, and their relative thoughts...feelings...emotions, along with the ususal "day-to-days" are what rendered me blog disabled.

But, I'm back in the game...well rested and refreshed!!!