Tuesday, May 16, 2006

"Wandering Minds" Want To Know

Although often times cliche, I love a good quote. A quote that makes me consider something that I wouldn't have otherwise...or addresses one of life's many circumstances. The quote that has, as of late, been permeating my thoughts is one from the movie "Mona Lisa Smile." It was delivered by the movie's antagonist, Betty Warren, wonderfully played by Kirsten Dunst and is as follows:

"Not all who wander are aimless. Especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image."

For today's post, I'd like to consider that first sentence. Not. All. Who. Wander. Are. Aimless. This really hits home for me.

I have always been a wanderer. When I was about 4 years old, I wandered away from my mother during one of our day trips to Coney Island. I won't say that I was "kidnapped" but my cousin did end up finding me with a woman who would not give me back to her. My cousin had to run and get my father and...let's just say Lonnie didn't play that...NOBODY messed with his little girl!

There were more occasions, during my very young years, that I overtly demonstrated my independence - sending my mother into fits of panic. Over time, common sense and street smarts set in and my wandering took on a new form: a wandering mind. But not in the "flighty, airhead sense"...in an "I think a little about a lot of things all of the time" sense. And I'm not just talking about trival things like: what am I going to wear today or what am I going to have for dinner (although when extremely famished, that is NO trival thing). No. I'm talking some pretty major life decisions...namely, my career.

As many of you know, I am in the process of looking for a new gig. Even though I have decided to focus on a career path that I believe is perfect for me...my mind is constantly wandering. Thinking about all of the many other things that interest me...things that come natural to me...and that I happen to do quite well. Most times I like the fact that I have many interests and talents...but sometimes I wish that there was only ONE thing in the world that I did really well or that piqued my curiosity. That way, there would be no confusion as to what I should do with my life...and I would feel like I had a definitive purpose. Or atleast that's what I'm assuming (and we all know what happens when we do that...lol).

For longer than I would like, I have been more concerned with what other people think, what they want for me and what society deems as "acceptable." Disappointingly, I have to admit that for the last 7-8 years, I have followed, much more than I have led. My best friend seems to think otherwise...if she were to tell it, I dance to the beat of my own drum and could not care less about what others think. That's who I was when she first met me 12 years ago...and for about 5 or so years after that. Up until recently? I didn't know whether to move on the 2 & 4 or the 1 & 3!

HOWEVER (and here is where the significance of the quote comes in) I have discovered, after many 12 round bouts with myself, that my recent career "wanderings" have not been aimless at all! They have been very focused...focused on finding the truth...MY truth...what is going to make me happy and bring me peace REGARDLESS of what anyone else thinks, suggests or wants. Am I a wanderer? Yes. Will I always be? Maybe. But one thing I now know for sure...I certainly am NOT aimless!

And you thought movies were just for entertainment purposes...LOL!

19 Comments:

At 6:11 AM, Blogger Bernie said...

Hmmm. I am wrestling with the very same thoughts, for the very sam reason, myself.

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger Mocha_Grl said...

Fantastic post.
I have been often accused of being a wanderer myself, but when I look back there is a method to my madness. lol

Do you.

Seriously, it's great to have people agree with you and support you, but at the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to!

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger Enigma said...

Is there something in the water? I am going thru the same thing. Just decided to do things the way that I need to. If you don't and conform to what others want then you are off of your focus. A true tragedy.
This blog entry is great. I agree wholeheartedly with mocha_grl. Live your life and do you.

Kita

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Lāā said...

I know exactly what you are talking about, because I am so similar. I agree with Mocha that there is a method to the madness when you look back at it. Every job that I had previously, somehow prepared me for something in my life or another job. Example, I used to work at an auto parts store. I knew nothing about cars except where to put the gas! Before I left that job, I knew every part on a car and I even knew how to check and change fluids and do a tune up! This came in handy with the hoopties I've had.

 
At 12:45 PM, Anonymous MzNewAgenda said...

I too know what you mean...I can do anything I set out to do and my mind never rests. I have not slept a full 8 hours without medication in years. My mind is constantly thinking...anticipating...contemplating...yes you have a method to your madness I'm sure, but if you are anything like me, it is a method you can't explain to others for they would never "get it". Find what ignites a passion in you and run with it...

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Bernie: Thanks for stopping by my site. So we're in the same boat, huh? LOL.

@ Mocha: You are right...it is nice to have support...but as we well know, not at the expense of your happiness!

@ Enigma: Thanks for visiting with me and welcome to blog world...I see you are a very new comer. You are going to love it here (I mean blog land...not necessarily my site...lol)! And yes, something MUST be in the water!

@ Laa: Love your example...you just never know how things that happen in the present will turn out to be a blessing in the future!

@ MzNewAgenda: Not only is is a method that I can't explain to others...but sometimes I don't even understand it myself...LOL!

 
At 3:19 PM, Blogger TTD said...

im loving this post! i feel like im wandering in my career as well.. i have a position but not really happy with it & my mind is wandering w/ the idea of "what do i really want to be when i grow up" :-)

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ TTD: "What do I really want to be when I grow up" - you can say that I again! It's amazing to think that our grandparents and some of our parents worked for the same company for 50-75 years. Amazing!

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger Tracie B. said...

well, aren't we all searching? good luck with finding it...:)

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Tracie: Seems like it, huh? Hmmmmm...I just had a thought...maybe I should start searching in Italy...how's that working out for ya? LOL!

 
At 10:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Darbs thank you for wishing me a happy birthday. I am Tracie's mom and I really enjoy reading your blog. You seem like a special young lady. God Bless you

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Anonymous: HI TRACIE'S MOM (Ms. Jane, right?)!!!!! You are just way too cute...you and your husband both (I read your comments on Tracie's blog). Thank you so much for stopping by and for the wonderful compliment...I hope you had a fabulous birthday and Mother's Day!

You should be very proud of your daughter...from what I "know" of her...she is a really amazing person!

God Bless You too...take care!

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Tracie B. said...

THAT'S ENOUGH you two...you're making me blush :) mom's right darbs...;)

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Tracie: LOL...don't be so modest! :o) And aren't Moms always right? Used to make me mad when I was young, but I sure do appreciate it now!

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger Actor Smurf said...

But being a wanderer is not a bad thing...I just realized that I didnt want to settle down in the married type life..and I want to be a forever bachelor..does that make me a bad person? I dont think so..i just have bigger fish to fry..like auditions and making it as an actor/singer!

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Honey-Libra said...

Good post I've been struggling with what to do with my career goals as well....

 
At 8:11 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Actor: No...that doesn't make you a bad person...just a person who knows what he wants and would not want to enter into something to which he is not committed. I commend you for that!

@ Honey: Seems a lot of us are at the same crossroads. Hope clarity comes to you quickly.

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger chele said...

Nothing wrong with wandering. Decisions such are these need careful thought. I've been prone for doing what is necessary at the time (i.e., taking jobs that were wrong for me because of the dough) with less than satisfactory results. The danger of wandering (sometimes) is not knowing when to stop wandering and to actually make a decision. Good luck!

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

she didn't want to return you to your mommie and daddie....i wish a mofo would...mess w/lil sarccastik....

 

Post a Comment

<< Home