Sunday, June 18, 2006

Letters to Our Fathers

"On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of their world

So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do..."

"Daughters" - John Mayer

Dear Upstanding, Biological Father:

Today, I celebrate you. But like Chris Rock, I am not celebrating you for doing the things that you are supposed to do as a father. Rather, I am celebrating you for how you do them so well. I celebrate you for the support and love that you give to the mothers of your children. I celebrate you
for the role model that you are to your sons - raising them to be responsible, strong, good men. I celebrate you for the role model that you are to your daughters - serving as the standard for how she should be treated by every single man that enters her life. I celebrate you for the leadership that you display in your churches and communities.

Way too many men have shown you how easy it can be to just walk away...turn your back on your creation...transition from being a "doer" to just a plain ol' "donor". BUT...with the state of families today - (like Robert Frost) "you took the road less traveled by...and that has made all the difference!" Know that it is very much appreciated!

So THANK YOU Fathers...for every game and recital you've attended, for every time you've stood as a united front with your significant other, for every mowed lawn and emptied garbage, for all that you've provided...for ALL that you are and do...I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Happy Fathers Day,


Dear Stepfather, Godfather, Adoptive Father, Foster Father and Guardian:

How can I begin to thank you for the choice that you have made. When family and friends told you not to do it...that it wasn't your responsibility...that is was going to change your life (and not for the better) - you made the decision to listen to your heart. Clearly, you are the reason that the quote "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy" was penned. For your children, you are the ultimate superhero. Today, I want you to know that you are my hero as well.

Great is the reward for those who have accepted into their lives a child that was "not his." You have given your children the ultimate, hope, faith and opportunity. If I had ten thousand tongues, I still could not thank you enough! You didn't have to do it...but I am so glad that you did!

Happy Fathers Day,


Dear Dead Beat Dad:

The disappointment is immeasurable. You were a coward and took the easy way out...left it up to someone else to raise your child. How could you? I ask that question knowing that there is no answer that could EVER satisfy me. I've heard all of your lame ass excuses...trickery, immaturity, lack of finances, doubt, fear...guess what? They're played and I don't buy them!

I pray for your children. Pray that they will grow and mature into wonderfully stable and respectable adults. I pray that they will succeed in spite of, and not fail because of, you. There is no doubt that their lives will not be easy, but at the end of the day - it's YOUR loss.

The one good thing is that as long as you, and they, are still have time. Although it may seem like it, and it may even be said, it is NEVER too late. Never too late to contribute financially. Never too late to develop a relationship (on your child's terms). Never, ever too late to say "I'm sorry, I love you and I want to do better."

What will you do?


To Sarccastik & All the Blogger Fathers/Dads:

To My Daddy:
I've always understood...I love you and I miss you.


At 10:02 AM, Blogger Bernie said...


A nice read.

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Bernie: Thanks for stopping by. I wish you peace today as I understand, completely, how tough today is. Glad you enjoyed the post.

At 10:36 AM, Anonymous MzNewAgenda said...

**clapping** Bravo!! Darbs that was a beautiful post!

At 5:00 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ MzNewAgenda: Hey girl...long time no blog...LOL. Thanks...glad you liked it!

At 11:48 PM, Blogger T. Cas said...

I've seen you on Mocha's blog and decided to check you out. Great post.

At 6:27 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ T. Cas: Thank you. And thank so much for visiting as well. Don't be a stranger :o)

At 10:37 AM, Blogger mark said...

Yo darbs I just want to say I enjoyed your post. I am ready to try to begin the process of changing things for the better for us. You chastised fathers who do not take care of their responsibility, without getting into overly bashing brothas. This is something I myself need to learn to do a better job of. Anyway good post, peace. Mark

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Mark: I appreciate you visiting my site. "Overly bashing brothas" is just not my style...I'm trying to help the problem, not add to's nice that you recognize that.

I know you can do the right thing! You HAVE to Mark! Keep me posted!

At 12:38 AM, Blogger Sangindiva said...

Girl this was a fantastic post!
I didn't think of Father's Day AT ALL.
Obviously I didn't have a reason to,
but your post was really cool for every aspect
of father. Good lookin' out.

At 12:53 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Sangin': Glad to have you back in my hood...I missed you girlfriend! Thanks...I figured that if I just posted a generic "Happy Father's Day" that I would be letting some undeserving individuals off the hook!

At 8:47 AM, Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

thanks for the shotout...i like the different angles...that was cool...give me a minute on a new post...a lot goings on right now...but i'll be back

At 9:50 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Sarccastik: You are more than welcome...I know how much you adore Lil Sarccastik! And take your time...I certainly know how it is :o)


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