Saturday, July 22, 2006

Naturally Ever After

Truth be told, I never needed a relaxer in the first place. But the mixture of a single mom with very little time, a daughter with long and thick hair, coupled with the absence of a father in the house refusing to let anything be done to his daughter's hair - does not make for a good "natural" formula.

Finally many years, and a move to LA, later...I had had enough. Enough of spending ridiculous amounts of money to suffer in pain from the irritating chemicals on my extremely sensitive scalp. Enough of the damage that comes from over processing. Enough blaming my mother for ever deciding to get my hair relaxed. My hair was now in my own hands!

After moving to LA and developing a rapport with my hairdresser - I had many conversations with her about my wanting to go natural. I expressed my concerns and apprehensions about the "transitional" period, as I did not want to have to cut ALL of my hair off in order to achieve my goal. She was able to ease my mind and, when I considered the amount of trust I had in her, we began the process.

Less than a year later, my hair was completely natural and I was lovin' it! I was, however, getting my hair pressed for manageability purposes.

About six months or so ago, I decided I no longer wanted to press my hair...I wanted to sport my natural waves/curls. But in order to do this, I was going to have to get my hair cut. For one, I was going to have to get my hair cut to remove the "trained" ends of my hair...the hair that, even though no longer chemically straightened, was bone straight from years of pressing. Secondly, I hadn't had my hair cut since I moved back East and I needed my hair shaped so that my waves/curls would lay nicely (and I say "waves/curls" because I have "combination" hair...LOL).

Two days ago, I got said hair cut....and I. ABSOLUTELY. LOVE. IT! I mean, it definitely took a minute to get used to it, but now that I have I can't stop thinking about how I wish I had done it sooner! Right now I'm wearing it with a few flat twists in the front and the rest is a curly 'fro of sorts. The hairdresser cut off a significant amount, but my hair retracts a bit, so it's really longer than it actually looks. I'm going to have to play around with different products to determine which will give me what kind of look (currently I'm testing out Aveda's Be Curly and Miss Jessie's Curly Pudding) we shall see what fabulousness awaits me!

It's really astonishing how much a hair cut can do for your spirit. I a way. And - although I totally agree with India.Arie when she proclaims: "I am not my hair" - my newly coifed hair has me feeling like the me I've been longing to be...naturally.


At 12:32 PM, Blogger Chosen said...

I think about doing it all the time and then I change my mind. I guess I'll have to wait until I really am bold enough to do it.

At 12:49 PM, Blogger chele said...

Pics please!

I love how a new 'do makes me feel. It is the best mood lifter around!

At 12:22 PM, Blogger African girl, American world said...

My sister, my is good to have you in the hapee2bnapee club!

I want to see a picture too. It is soooo freeing just to be FREE from chemicals. I've been natural for 8 years and I have no regrets at all.


At 10:51 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Liberating, ain't it. I've been wearing my hair natural for nearly 11 years.

At 8:54 AM, Blogger Lāā said...

I wish I could go chemical free one day. I'm sad to admit that I'm addicted to the creamy crack.

At 9:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm glad you like the style! Can't wait to see it next week :) So you like the Curly Pudding?! Glad someone could use it!

At 4:23 PM, Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

that's cool...wifey's been thinking about that for the longest...i'm like whatever you still gonna have to keep my hands off

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Shug said...

I know the feeling. I just cut my hair on Saturday. I'm not exactly crazy about it, but I just feel so much better. Please post a pic. We want to see!

At 3:36 AM, Blogger Sangindiva said...

I wanna see!! Hi darbs!!! *waving*

I am glad you are making the changes in your life that are lifting your spirt... see- the journey back to joy is becoming more enjoyable! :)

At 10:02 AM, Anonymous eclectik said...

I wanna see, and I wanna see now
LOL@ Curly pudding :)

Oh and go register for the's back


At 10:03 AM, Blogger LUVIN ME said...

I bet it looks great!

I was born with curly hair so I guess I've been natural all my life...

I go to the salon to get it styled, but I stay away from the chemicals...

At 2:19 PM, Blogger TTD said...

you have to show a pic of the new hair do!

At 11:01 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Chosen: When the time is right, you'll be able to do it. It took many, many years for me to make the switch.

@ Chele: Yes, aren't new do's great...especially when they're cute!

@ Mwabi: VERY HAPPY & VERY FREE! I just hit my 3rd year and I'm never turning back!

@ Nikki: Liberating is a very good choice of words. And I ran into your posts on one of the websites that I came across when I was researching natural styles/products/salons...small world...LOL!

@ Laa: Nothing is wrong with the "creamy crack" if it works for you...but if you are thinking about going natural, I strongly recommend it :o)

@ Anon: Hey girl...can't wait 'til you get here to see it...I'm curious as to what you are going to think. Haven't tried the Curly Pudding since the cut, but I definitely am going to...I'll let you know how it works out...maybe I'll try it when you get here.

@ Sarccastik: How sweet...and nice that you support her.

@ Shug: Are you used to the cut now? Thankfully it only took me about an hour to digest it...hope you are lovin' yours now!

@ Sangin': Hey Girl *waving* How you? The journey still continues to have it's bumps, but is becoming more enjoyable!

@ Eclectik: Aren't we damanding...LOL! I don't know if you are going to dig it now that I know your preference...LOL. Glad to hear that the message board is back up and running...congrats!

@ Luvin: Thanks...and it does, if I must say so myself...LOL! I should have done what you did, but know the deal from my post!

@ TTD & EVERYONE: I'm not a big picture taker, but as soon as I'm able I will take a pic. For now, you'll just have to take my word for's cute :o) LOL

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Soulfull said...

I know it's cute Darbs! I tell you! You are definitely doing your thing, o so naturally! :-)

At 9:40 AM, Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

how is the nappy going? (hair)

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

Ah, so you caught me on one of the hair boards. Yeah, I'm always interested in other people's views on natural hair.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

I'm glad that you decided to fell the hapiness with the nappiness. Have a great weekend.

At 9:17 AM, Blogger YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

*running to check out the curly pudding*

This whole sewn in weave thingy is getting tiresome. I've only been chemical free for a few months. Granted, my hair has grown alot, but I really don't know what else to do with it.

I'm cosigning with everyone else, POST A PIC, Deary!

At 9:27 PM, Blogger African girl, American world said...

where you at girl?

At 10:59 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Soulfull: Yes, it is cute...I'm lovin' in more and more each day!

@ Sarccastik: Going GREAT! Thanks for askin'!

@ Nikki: That's one more thing I'll be addicted to now! LOL!

@ Humanity: Thanks for stopping by...hope you had a great weekend!

@ Harpo: You'll probably have to go online to find the Curly Pudding @ - the in-store distribution is kinda limited.

@ Mwabi: I'm my most recent post for more info. You know it hurts me to be away from my blog fam for too long. I think about you guys every moment that I am away. I missed you girl!


At 5:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, I just stumbled on your blog and I am thinking of cutting my hair...I've been growing it out naturally...I live in the DC area and I've been looking for a place where they cut naturally curly hair for African American women. I've found tons of loc shops but haven't found a hair dresser who specializes in naturally curly african american hair...any suggestions? Thanks J.T.

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ JT: I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond, but I just came across your comment today (10/22). If you do happen to check back, I got my hair cut at B. Natural - located in the Bowie Town Center in Bowie, MD. I was having the same difficulty/ I just took a chance and was relatively pleased. I would suggest that wherever you decide to go, that you get a consult first...that way you can be a bit more comfortable with making a decision. Hope this helps! Good luck and keep me posted!


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