Thursday, October 19, 2006

A September Solstice

...has led to October Optimism!

Before I begin, I guess it goes without saying that I have been in quite the blog fog lately. As evidenced by this entry, the fog has lifted! Many, many thanks go out to all of you who have hung in there with me...those of you who have left comments of concern and/or encouragement - as well as those of you who have reached out to me "offline" so to speak. This is part of "The Journey" folks...the real, raw and, many times, rocky Journey.

So much to say with no clear understanding of exactly how to say it all.

September, into the beginning weeks of October, found me in the midst of the "calm before the storm"...but the antithesis of what we all know this phrase to actually mean. It wasn't a peaceful calm, but rather the make-believe type of calm that comes from avoidance and oblivion. And the storm that has come? Well, it's the only good kind of storm there is - the "take the world by" kind.

While I will say that I feel I have been handling my "dark hour" relatively well, I must also admit that I have not been as forward thinking or optimistic - faithful even - as I should. And if I'm honest, I have even fallen short since optimism has taken residence in my spirit...having felt a pang of "je ne sais quoi" after slipping on my wedding band (oh...and the engagement ring too) less than 48 hours ago. Although I am certain that is was neither doubt nor regret that I felt, I cannot put my finger on what the feeling was exactly. But, I do know for sure that it wasn't one that I wanted (or needed) to usher me into the greatness that awaits me.

Granted, I do still have some hills to climb...but I'm thankful that they are hills and not mountains! And, I am a way that I haven't been in some time. So, yes, the rings did eventually come a matter of minutes in fact (thanks, in part, to my "blog angel" who has swooped in - on more than one occasion - and redirected me from going down the "ugly road").

It's ironic because I cannot say with any certainty just what is coming...or just how mindblowing it's going to be...but I have an amazingly awesome sense of comfort in the anticipation and wake of its arrival.

Now...for some updates:

~ I did not get the position that I had interviewed for a post ago. What we see as being humanly perfect isn't always divinely perfect. However, the postive pep that has been put in my step has sent me into a job finding frenzy and am excited for the outcome.

~ I attended my alma mater's Homecoming this past weekend - the only Homecoming worth - HOWARD HOMECOMING!!! I spent the weekend with my sister-girlfriend, visiting from Miami, who is also going through a divorce right now. And for as much as I would have loved to see/hang with my entire group of sister-girlfriends, I was thankful that I received the chance to spend some quality time with this particular friend. Surprisingly for many, no male bashing, husband hating, bitter banter took place. Quite the contrary. Our conversation, and even our silence, was full of beginnings...and happier endings. The familiar faces, squeals of joy, warm embraces, easy smiles and stories of progress...upward movement...left me high. Refreshed. Renewed. I realized that the "Howard Experience" did not end for me in 1998...that I continue to grow and learn from that great institution...and from the greatness that it has produced. My blood runs BISON BLUE, and I could not be more proud!

~ And last, but not least, Homecoming weekend also allowed me to bring to you...* drum roll please*...THE NEW HAIR:

Not the best shot (I should have taken off the sunglasses), but it gives you an idea. You've waited so long that something is better than nothing, right? And. I. Am. Still. LOVIN'. It!!!!!

Soooooo...I am sure there is so much more that I could share, but I'm going to ease back into Blogland and not overdo it in this one post. Right now, I'm just glad to be back! I missed y'all!

And the Journey continues...


At 8:31 AM, Blogger African girl, American world said...

Honey I got 2 things:

1. I love you!

2. You look beautiful with your hair...very free and calm.

Now on to biness....WELCOME BACK!!! I was worried but I know whatever you were going through, you NEEDED to go through.

It is a journey and so long as you know that there are many people in blogland and offline that are here to help you through....girl if you need to call and SCREAM please do it. No judgmrnt at all cause what we all know is that you are going through this right now BUT it could be any of us in the future.

So yeah I'm so HAPPY that you are back and this is a long ass comment cause I wanna get all my thoughts out there in case you dissapear again :)

Now, call a sista...OK :)

At 8:44 AM, Blogger Lāā said...

Glad to see you back! I checked to see what your journey was a couple of times a week, and figured you just weren't ready to share with us.

But low and behold today I come and there's an update LOL

I love the hair. That's my usual style too, panythose have more than one use.

At 9:10 AM, Blogger TTD said...

glad ur back!!! i was getting a little worried there.. sorry to have missed u this past weekend.. but there will be other times!

and you look cute w/ ur hair!

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Mwabi: Thank you and I love you too girl!!! You have the patience of Job and I appreciate it. Glad you like the hair...the word "free" has been used before...I REALLY need to let that sink in cause it's true and a very wonderful thing!

@ LaaLaa (pronounced "Lay-Lay"): LOL! Thanks for not giving up on me! 'Preciate ya! I'm actually using a black cotton head band that I got from Target that has worked extremely well...but I'm going to have to remember the pantyhose...hadn't thought of that lately.

@ TTD: I'm glad to be back girl and I'm humbled by your concern. Ya girl is worries. And no worries about this past weekend...I totally understand and am looking forward to the next.

At 9:58 AM, Blogger African girl, American world said...

I think you went to Howard the same time my cousin went. Do you know Lusikelo?

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Nikki said...

The new hair is a nice look.

At 3:01 PM, Blogger Soulfull said...

Welcome back Darbs!!! Love, love, love, the new `do! I can definitely see you had some fun at homecoming!!! :-)

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Mwabi: I'm not sure...the name doesn't sound familiar but I could know him by know how that goes. I was there '94-'98 (School of Communications). What about him?

@ Nikki: Glad you likes :0)

@ Soulfull: Thank you girl! And yes, I had so much fun at usual!

At 1:32 AM, Blogger Shug said...

So glad you're back!!! I was kinda worried there for a minute, but then I thought that you might be going through some things and you just needed to take some time for yourself. I love your hair!

At 9:19 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Shug: Thank you for caring and for being patient with me. He's not through with me yet!

At 4:46 PM, Anonymous CreoleInDC said...


Glad to see you're back know I was worried boutcha! NOW GIT TA WRITING!


At 9:07 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Creole: Awwww...thank you girl :) It's the final countdown...tomorrow is Monday! YEA for you!

At 8:23 AM, Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

i'm diggin the new steelo (style)....SHAWTY SHAWTY!!!!...

At 8:04 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Sarccastik: Thanks Man :o)


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