Saturday, November 11, 2006

Autumnal Utterings

After a pretty lengthy hiatus (Blogland speaking), my intention was to come back with a vengeance. It's been two weeks since my last post, so that whole "with a vengeance" thing....um yeah...kinda didn't work out so well for me.

"But still, like dust, I'll rise."

Autumn. My absolute favorite time of year. A season of beauty...of reflection on the season past. A season of change and transformation...of a colorful death of what once was, in order to make way for what is to come. A season of cool, crisp air...the kind that, when breathed in deep, clears the mind and senses - reminds you of just how alive you are.

A lot has gone on in my life and in my mind since last I posted, some significant...others not so much. In no particular order...my autumnal utterings:

~ I purchased a CD from Whole Foods Market called "Putumayo Presents Acoustic Africa." I had no intention of purchasing this CD when I walked in the store, but was drawn in when I heard the first track. The title of the track is "Sore" - it's by Diogal, a Senegalese artist that I had not heard of until now. Although I don't understand the language, the emotion behind the music speaks a universal language. This morning it dawned on me to read the CD cover. Part of the description of this track reads: "On 'Sore' (The Immigrant), Diogal reveals his talent for creating lilting and memorable melodies. He sings of an immigrant who thinks nostalgically about his roots and the ancestral values of his people." In a way that is too deep for words, it is no wonder that I was taken by this song! The spirit world is so very strong.

~ Speaking of Whole Foods Market...every time I walk the aisles of that store I long for the day when I can do the bulk, if not all, of my shopping there. I never thought grocery shopping could be a peaceful experience until Whole Foods. It truly is tragic that it costs so much to eat and live well. Really makes you wonder...

~ I have been dealt yet another blow...lost yet another bit of independence. I think it was the day after my last post that I returned my car to its "rightful" owner - the soon-to-be-ex. What an ugly situation! To make a very long story short, when in LA we both owned our own cars (in our own names). Foolishly, with only a few more car payments on my car, I agreed to get a brand new car. We used my old car as a down payment and put the new car in my husband's name (he was offered a $25/month lower car payment than me). Given my current situation, I couldn't afford to make the full payments. He was gracious enough (I guess) to make the payments for as long as he could, but recently pulled the plug. So now I'm kicking myself because I could have kept my old car and been free of a car payment. Now...I have nothing and have no idea when I will be able to have something. In an effort to think positively...even if the situation was different, I didn't need as much car (space) as I had - nor did I need one with such a high note - considering that I'll be working with one income from now on. (This could be an ENTIRE post of its own...but I'll save you the agony and stop while I'm ahead!)

~ On the "upside of anger" so to speak, I had an interview on Thursday! It was for a Communications Specialist positon with a (seemingly) really cool organization in DC. I'm not going to jinx this opportunity like I feel I did the last, but I will say that I am praying REALLY hard for this job (I'm even considering fasting for it). The only annoying part is that is may take 4-6 weeks for a final decision to be made. For all of you prayin' folks - please get on your knees, in your prayer closets, go to your prayer meeting - with me on your list. I also received a call from a staffing agency that I hooked up with and a company with a temp-to-hire position is interested in speaking with me on Monday....I didn't get the message until late Friday night, so that might not happen until Tuesday. Either way...the search still continues!

~ For those of you who are unaware, there is a very large Ethiopian population in the Washington, DC Metro area. I say that to say this - EVERYWHERE I go, I am mistaken (or atleast I think it's a mistake) for being Ethiopian. This has been happening to me since I was attending Howard U. many, many moons ago. And it's not Americans that make this mistake...it's Ethiopians! If I'm not asked, it's assumed and I'm greeted with "indemin nesh" which is followed by a look of confusion and shock when they learn that I am American. I've even had a couple individuals insist that I am Ethiopian..."you may not know it, but you ARE Ethiopian." When this first started happening years ago, I decided that I wanted to go to Ethiopia. I had a friend who was from Ethiopia and was planning to go back for a visit. I thought she would be the perfect tour guide and I began teaching myself Amharic. Unfortunately, I never made it to Ethiopia and my Amharic studies didn't get past basic greetings. This "mistaken identity" is very bittersweet for me. Sweet because I am honored by it as I believe that Ethiopians are some of the most beautiful people in the world...both physically and culturally. Bitter because I want so badly to be able to say, with certainty, that "yes" I am Ethiopian...to have a definitive cultural identity, because so often I feel that I do not. According to friends that have traveled to different regions in Africa, there are some native Africans that can tell from which region of the continent you hail simply by facial features. If this is true, there seems to be no confusion as to which region I should be claiming...Viva Ethiopia!

~ I love, love, love Grey's Anatomy! This week's epsiode was yet another hour of brilliant writing and thought provocation. I know what happened between Isaiah Washington and T. R. Knight was sheer ignorance, but I am still in love with Dr. Burke! Wish I had one of my very own...lol. Kudos Ms. Rhimes!!! I don't think that can be said enough...she is truly a force to be reckoned with!

~ I want to change the look of my blog, but I have no idea where to start. I'm bored with my current template/features and as this is a season of change, my desire is to give my site a much needed facelift. I'm just not savvy enough to do it on my own. I guess the easiest way for me to do it would be to change hosts - and I actually do have an account with Vox - but that alone just isn't doing it for me. Hence, I have not made the switch. Ah well, there are certainly much bigger fish to fry...

~ And last but not least, we lost two very special people this week: Ed Bradley and Gerald Levert. Two great talents gone way too soon. The belief is that death comes in threes...I hate the morbid anticipation that comes with this notion. Rest In Peace Mr. Bradley and Mr. Levert...you will be missed!



"Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower."

24 Comments:

At 12:13 PM, Anonymous CreoleInDC said...

I'm really glad you've discovered Putumayo. I have several of their cd's...you should check out the website: http://www.putumayo.com/

Ugh to the car situation. If you need a ride somewhere...holla atcha girl. I don't usually do much anyway. LOL!

If you like Whole Foods...I should take you to Wegmans. It's like a grocery store in fantasy land. Seriously.

Welcome back Princess! Don't stay away so long next time.

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Creole: I was headed to your site to let you know that I posted...but you beat me to it! Have I told you how much you are loved today Chica? We haven't had the pleasure of meeting in person yet, but I feel like I've known you forever. No matter how profound the comment, you have a way with saying just what needs to be said and in the exact way it needs to be said! Thanks Sis...for everything!

 
At 12:16 AM, Blogger African girl, American world said...

I haven't heard of the musician you mentioned but believe i'm getting my research on.

yes TRAGIC!! every time I go to Wild Oats I'm in disbelief.

sorry bout the car...you just gotta move forward Ma..gotta to.

It is pretty easy for us Africans to kinda know where folk are from or look like they're from...now Darbs from your pictures I would never think Ethiopia. I must meet you in person.

 
At 12:17 AM, Blogger African girl, American world said...

I'm not tryna be a dream killa...I just read the 2nd last line in my post.

You know what I'm saying, right?

 
At 7:19 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Mwabi: I thought for sure that you would know the artist...you MUST hear this song in particular...I can't vouch for his entire album, but I'm almost sure that it's just as great. And yes, I totally know what you are saying...you've only seen two very small pics of me...one with sunglasses, so I wouldn't expect you to see it. At this point, no one could kill my dream with all of the confusion I have caused within the Ethiopian population here...LOL. For this, and sooooooooo many other reasons, it is imperative that we meet in person :o)

 
At 9:55 AM, Blogger Tracie B. said...

hey darbs! have you ever heard ben harper's song version of "i'll rise?" it's beautiful...just like him.

by the way, i like your new hairdo..very cute :)

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Tracie: Can't say that I have. I'll definitely have to check that out! THANK YOU...glad you're diggin' the 'do!

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger TTD said...

the 3rd was Jack Palance...

sorry bout the car situation... things will work out.. just continue to see the positive in things and i'm sure everything will be ok..

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ TTD: Right...I heard about his death after I posted. And thanks..."this too shall pass..."

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Shelley - At Home in Rome said...

Ciao Darbs!
I found your autumnal utterings to be very inspirational. I agree with you that the spirit world is powerful in the sense that things that happen in our everyday lives can often be seen as coincidences, but really there is a higher power guiding us.
On that note, the car thing most certainly happened for a reason, not that it necessarily seems good at first, but it remains to be seen what this "lack of car" might bring you in abundance or opportunity in other ways...you never know!
As for the Ethiopian comments...my thought is to go with that inner feeling you have. There must be something to why everyone keeps telling you this, there usually is in life when this happens. I say, why not keep the faith on the trip idea and start with small steps that put you in touch with Ethiopia, like music, food, etc., bringing Ethiopia into your daily life in small ways, and see what happens!
Journey Back to Joy, indeed! Brava!!

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Shelley - At Home in Rome said...

Oh, PS: Most importantly: you are in my thoughts for the job! Positive energy coming your way from across the Atlantic...

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Shelley: Wow...I cannot thank you enough for your heartfelt comments...so very kind and insightful.

Betam Amesegënallô! (Can you guess what that is?) :o)

 
At 5:44 AM, Blogger Shelley - At Home in Rome said...

Hey, thank you! I really felt a connection when I read what you had written so my words were definitely from the heart!
But, hmmm... could it be "thank you"? Yikes. I'm not sure if I'm so good at this but at least I didn't cheat and look it up on Google...

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger Sister Toldja said...

Hey sis, I hope everything looks up for you in your journey. I feel you so much right now- I just lost a job that I absolutely loved and everything seems to be a mess. You gotta keep your spirits up and realize that you are still young and have plenty of time to make the magic happen.

On a lighter note, I, too get the "are you Ethiopian/Somali/Eritrean?" question all the time! I don't see it too much at all, but the people who ask are so surprised when I tell them no. I heard it once in Chicago, but in DC it's crazy! (Yes, I'm an HU alum too!) My friend (who reallllly looks Ethiopian) and I got cursed out in Amharic once over a parking spot in Adams Morgan. Hilarious. I feel you on the longing for a place of origin to claim to, but while I have endless respect for the people of Ethiopia, I guess I've been more exposed to certian cultures from West Africa and tend to look there more often.

Peace out! Check my blog if you get a chance and I hope you write more often now, 'cause I like your material!

 
At 7:40 AM, Blogger The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

good luck on your interview...why the hell does it take 4 to 6 weeks...

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Shelley: Brava...yes...it's "Thank you very much" basically. Good for you!

@ Toldja: HU Love! Thanks for stoppin' by the spot and for your words of encouragement! And I will definitely be paying you a visit!

@ Sarccastik: Thank you! I wondered/wonder the same thing myself. Ridiculous...especially when I'm available IMMEDIATELY...but I'm gonna be patient. Keep me in your thoughts!

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger urban butterfly said...

Autumn is also my favorite season for the very same reasons you have listed! Sorry to hear about the situation with your soon to be ex and your car! I don't know what its like personally but I know it must be difficult, and I wish you all the best in your situation and I hope that things turn out better for you! And yes, I will pray for you!! Prayer is so important and its our most powerful weapon! Alot of people don't realize this. And its interesting that you mention Ethiopians mistaking you for being Ethiopian. African people always ask me where I'm from. Some Americans too. Most think I'm from some country in Africa or that I'm from somewhere in the Caribbean. I've even gotten that I look like I'm from Brazil!! I was like, whoa!! I'm from the US!! Slave blood, born and bred!! LOL! I think its interesting though. I'm thinking maybe its because I wear my hair natural. And I've also been told its my facial features and the tone of my skin. But it does make you want to identify with your roots. Gerald Levert died so young! I remember seeing his daughter's birthday party on MTV a while back. I feel for his family. I know what its like to lose my dad and I'm sure his children are distraught.

By the way, thanks for stopping by my blog!! =) I see you're not too far from me. (I actually live in Bowie!!)

 
At 9:44 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Urban: Thanks for your prayers...and yes, prayer is very powerful. My siuation is definitely not easy, but I'm making it through. Funny that you deal with "mistaken identity as well" - it truly is mindblowing sometimes...especially since I get the same country from the same people ALL the time...there has to be something to it!

I used to live in Bowie...now I just work (part time) in Bowie. Small world.

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger Soulfull said...

Man, Whole Foods! The last one I can remember going to was all the way over in Rockville and dang, do I love that place. Now that you mention, I probably need to start going back there because I do want to start eating better. Sending prayers up for the new gig!! I really hope you get it!! :)

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Soulfull: I got to the one in Annapolis, but there's also one near/in Dupont Circle now...I think it's on P Street. Thanks for the prayers...it means a lot...I'm hoping that I get it too!

 
At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Exhausted Spirit said...

I feel your pain on the car situation! My ex-husband's name is on my car because I was unemployed when we got my car and I HATE IT!! I have a recurring nightmare that he's going to demand the car.

It must be nice to look like you belong to a specific country rather than me who "looks like somebody in everybody's family". How about they have never asked me about somebody I am actually related to!

I'll definitely keep you on the prayer list!!

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Exhausted: Good luck with that situation...I hope your ex is a little bit more rational, considerate and understanding than mine is!

LOL @ "looks like somebody in everybody's family" - I've actually said that to people before!

Thank you soooo very much for your prayers!

 
At 3:31 PM, Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

I'm just glad that you are back. I have to agree, I love autumn as well.

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Darbs said...

@ Humanity: Thanks...it's good to be back!

 

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