Peaks and Valleys

Just when everything seems to be going my way...BAM...I'm hit with the reality of "the valley."

When last I posted, I was riding a high. I'm trying not to lose sight of the positivity that has been circling 'round about me, but when I slide into a valley, it's kinda hard to remember the good times.

The day after my promotion was announced I received a call from my Mom. It was one of "those" calls...the calls that make your phone ring a little bit different than usual. She told me that one of my childhood friends had lost his battle with sickle cell. I couldn't even cry...I was...tired. Tired of death...and of sadness. I eventually shared this news with a co-worker of mine and apparently I have experienced more death than the every day Joe - she has only been to one funeral in her 35 years of life (this is something that I hear from quite a few people when death happens to be the topic of discussion) and she has four years on me! Me? I've lost count. And when I say I've lost count, I don't mean of the funerals for "this woman/man I used to know once." No, I'm talking very close relatives and friends...from my father to my first boyfriend...from AIDS to murder. And no matter how much death I have encountered...it doesn't get any easier. REST IN PEACE TYE...your kind and faithful spirit will be missed!

Soon after that I made a mistake at work. One which, when looking at the big picture, shouldn't make you or break you. Clearly my boss thinks otherwise, having subjected me to the silent treatment for the past three days and counting. How unbelievably immature and unprofessional is that? I heard through the office grapevine that she had this "way" about her, but I never thought I would see it...atleast not this soon after I started and so soon after my promotion. The fact of the matter is that the mistake wasn't even all my fault - I truly believe that because of my having "risen to the challenge" of conquering a HUGE undertaking when I first started, people have forgotten that I haven't even been employed with my organization for 6 months yet! They have forgotten that I have never done most of the tasks to which I have been assigned...they have taken for granted my being able to pick most things up rather quickly, and haven't realized that no one really takes the time to sit down and thoroughly explain any project or effectively communicate deadlines. Everything needs to be done yesterday, so I'm left to fend for myself. And usually I'm able to do so with no problem or incident - but not always because, let's face it, I'm human! But the one thing that they can never say I don't do is acknowledge, apologize, accept and address. Acknowledge my mistake. Apologize for any problems that I caused. Accept responsibility. Address the problem and fix it. Obviously that just isn't enough. And what makes matters worse is that my boss is often times the culprit of many a mistake...but she'll be the first one to throw you under the bus for fear of someone thinking that she is incompetent.

I'm trying to seperate the professional from the personal, however. Personally, she is a great person - she sent me flowers after our annual convention...she sent me an assortment of Neuske's meat after we had a discussion about my never having tasted or heard of it...and had nothing but wonderful things to say about me and my work ethic when she announced my promotion. Professionally speaking, though, it's a totally different ball game!

This is a prime example of "your only as good as your last mistake." And what frustrates me most of all is that I cannot afford (literally and figuratively) to have anyone second guessing me...I need this job (I highly doubt that it's on the line)...and I need for it to be as stress free as possible (I heard that snicker!)

THEN...to top it all off the iPod Nano, that I have been anxiously awaiting, finally arrived yesterday night and I discovered that I ordered a refurbished Nano...not a new one. AND...now my computer is acting crazy and won't allow me to download iTunes (I think some application was mysteriously uninstalled or I have a virus of some sort). I had been considering doing away with my desktop and getting a laptop - but I really don't want to incur that expense right now. Looks like my iPod will be going back to iLand. I have no patience for technology...I need things to easy when it comes to that department.

Through it all, I'm bobbin' and weavin', but I honestly don't know how many more blows I can take. Seems as though I was getting a little bit too comfortable with the peace and positivity. I guess every once in a while reality has to bite!

Moscato please...and make it a double!

It Keeps Getting Better

I'm convinced that there is no better combination than prayer, faith and diligence. Today, after only 3 1/2 months of employment, I received a promotion and a raise!!!!

Do I even need to tell you just how thrilled I am? Not only because of the promotion and raise, but also because I am fortunate enough to work for an organization that recognizes - and rewards - hard work and dedication. My boss shared that when they interviewed me they were quite aware that I was "overqualified" for the position, but they also knew the plans for my department as it related to expansion and growth opportunity. There was no doubt in their minds that - once the kinks were worked out - I would benefit from the changes that were in store. To have someone categorize the work that I have done as "phenomenal" is truly an honor...especially when I have made a career change and am sailing in uncharted waters, so to speak.

What an awesomely amazing ride this is (not "has been" because there is so much more to come)! Just a month and a couple days shy of a year ago today, I posted this.

What a difference a year makes...

I am empowered by the new responsiblities that have been bestowed to me, and I am convinced that I am going to be nothing short of great...based on the trust I have in my Higher Power, my belief in myself and the support of the organization with which I work.

I could not be more pleased with my patience to see through my desire to explore a new career/professional path. In my choice, I am discovering new interests, new abilities and - in many ways - a new me!

"I'm walking on sunshine...and don't it feel good."

Delis, Devils and...Darbs!

For those of you who may not know, I am a Jersey Girl through and through - born, raised and very proud of it!

As long as I can remember, Jersey has been the butt of many a joke...but I will forever stand by the fact that New Jersey has got to be one of the best states in which to grow up. No matter where I have been, where I am, or where I may go...The Garden State will ALWAYS be home!

Today's post may prove to be a form of confirmation for some of you "Jersey haters" out there, but for me - it's full of fond memories. So...it is with much of that Jersey pride that I bring you:

"You Know You're From New Jersey If..."

1. You don't think of fruit when people mention 'The Oranges'.

2. You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.

3. A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.

4. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.

5. You don't understand why there aren't 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

6. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

7. At least three people in your family still love Jon Bon Jovi and you've been to the town Bruce is from.

8. You know what a jughandle is.

9. You know how to properly negotiate a circle.

10. You knew that the last two sentences had to do with driving.

11. You know that the state isn't all farmland.

12. You've never pumped your own gas.

13. You know that this is the only 'New...' state that doesn't require 'New' to identify it (like York , Hampshire, Mexico, etc).

14. You know that a 'White Castle' is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

15. You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege.

16. You don't think 'What exit' is very funny.

17. You know that people from the 609 area code are 'a little different'.

18. You know that no respectable New Jersey-ite goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.

19. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

20. You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

21. Every year you have at least three kids in your class named Tony.

22. You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.

23. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall.

24. You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, people from Central Jersey go to Belmar and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. It can be no other way.

25. You weren't raised in New Jersey - you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.

26. You think the Olive Garden is a bunch of crap and you like the Italian joint in your local strip mall better.

27. You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.

28. You remember Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickels, Channel, Bamburgers and Orbachs.

29. You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

30. You've run out of money at a Parkway tollbooth.

31. You often use variations of the word 'f*ck' while driving.

32. You know that there are no 'beaches' in New Jersey - there's the shore and you don't go 'to the shore' you go 'down the Shore.' And when you are there, you're not 'at the shore' you are 'down the Shore.'

Wow...that REALLY took me waaaaay back!

If you have never been I - like my homestate slogan - "New Jersey, Come See For Yourself" - invite you to do just that.

Aqua Net,
Darbs

Worth a Thousand Words

Having my picture taken has never been one of my favorite things. I'm not sure why exactly, but it probably has something to do with the fact that I end up hating most of the pictures that are taken of me...regardless of how many people think otherwise.

I'm dogsitting for my best friends this weekend (the ones I used to live with) and I was perusing, as I do time and time again, their "wall of memories." Early during my stay, my BF decided that she wanted to frame some of her treasured photos and display them along her staircase wall...photos of family and friends, traditions and travels. Loving a decorating project, I offered my assistance. And, I'm glad that I did because that ended up being one of my fondest and most memorable times during my stay with them.

A picture is truly worth a thousand words...and laughs...memories...and sometimes tears.

As I studied the photographs, specifically the two in which I appear, I made the decision that I need to start taking more pictures. Based on the opening of this entry, it's obviously not that I'm a narcissist. Rather, what brought about this decision was the emotion that the pictures evoked. Joy.

With life being as wonderful as it is for me right now - coupled with the fact that as I get older, life gets shorter - I think it would be such a shame if I didn't capture these special moments in my life. Because, today, I truly realized that it's not about how cute or not so cute your clothes are...it's not about how overweight or underweight you may be...it's not about whether you posed or it was candid - it's about the moment. Moments that cause you to stop...to want to remember THIS time. Or, for that matter,cause others to want to remember the time...realizing that although it may not be a special moment for you, it just might be for the person with whom it is being shared.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" - that's what the plaque on my desk at work reads.

Be they because of love or laughter, serenity or surprise, awe or admiration...I want to capture the moments that take my breath away.

Now understandably, some discretion will be used...I'm not going to be all willy-nilly about it thanks to PhotoShop and the World Wide Web. However, I have made the decision to be more willing to seize life's moments and say.........CHEESE! (preferably Brie...or feta, thanks)

Where, Oh Where?

Where in da hell is spring? Didn't that damn groundhog see his shadow not too long ago...or was it he didn't see it? Whichever it was - spring (or spring-like weather) was supposed to be just around the corner.

Clearly he must have been blind.

It's mid-March and a cold, snowy mess in the nation's Capitol...along with the rest of the Northeast Corridor.

Although it is rather nice to be comfy cozy in my cute, little apartment...it's time to bring on the cherry blossoms!

I love livin' in the "urea," but it's times like these that really make me miss LA.

*Sigh*

Hopefully Romantic

I admit it...I am a bonafide, hopeFUL romantic...and I'm not one bit 'shamed. Through it all, I still believe...and it's songs like this that that make believing that much sweeter:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
Shirley Bassey

What are you doing the rest of your life
North and South and East and West of your life
I have only one request of your life
That you spend it all with me

All the seasons and the times of your days
All the nickels and the dimes of your days
Let the reasons and the rhymes of your days
All begin and end with me

I want to see your face in every kind of light
In fields of dawn and forests of the night
And when you stand before the candles on a cake
Oh, let me be the one to hear the silent wish you make

Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes
In the world of love you keep in your eyes
I'll awaken what's asleep in your eyes
It may take a kiss or two

Through all of my life
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall of my life
All I ever will recall of my life
Is all of my life with you

Now I'm not saying I'm ready for another relationship just yet (however, I'm not saying that I'm not either), but when I am - this is the kind of stuff that I want it to be made of.

Just thought I'd share the love...


Disclaimer: And no...this has absolutely nothing to do with the ridiculously gorgeous man that made it possible for me to post this message today...I'm hopeful, not foolish. The "joy" hasn't come back THAT strong yet...lol!

I'm Baaaaack!!!

I am so doing the happy dance right now! I have finally made it back Blogland for good...and oh what a beautiful entry it has been...literally.

I should have been back up and running on Saturday...but due to the incompentency of a cable/phone/internet company that shall remain nameless...that wasn't able to happen. But as the saying goes: everything happens for a reason. I rushed home from work today because a technician was being dispatched, off hours, especially for me. I wasn't hopeful, though, and was preparing to have to "black out" on this unsuspecting tech. But...WHOA...was I wrong!

I was in the middle of reconnecting all the wires when there was a knock on the door. I got up, attitude on standby, and opened the door. Can you say speechless? For a minute, I couldn't remember what he had come for, but whatever it was, I was glad he did! Because standing before me was one of the most beautiful specimen of life that I have seen in a VERY long time. LAWD HAVE MERCY!

Long story short...I got the internet...with a side of digits! Whether or not our paths ever cross again, I certainly didn't suffer without internet in vain. It was just nice to have a beautiful man christen my new place with his presence! It has been a loooooooong minute y'all...a very looooooong minute!

*Sigh*

Moving right along...I cannot wait to get reconnected with my blog fam. I have missed you all so very much. I haven't checked y'all out yet, but I'm hoping that all of you are still around...still blogging...still living wonderful lives...still sharing...still along for the Journey!

The Journey...Thank. God. For. The. JOURNEY! The beginning was full of dark clouds, but lately? Nothing but blue skies! From the job, to the new spot, to getting my finances back on track...I could not be more thrilled!

Okay...I'm makin' this a short one because I'm itching to make my way back into your lives.

Back...
Darbs